To my Son

Forgive this brief change in direction but there has been a project that has been in the back (and fore) of my mind for nearly 10 years. I had this idea that I would write down some thoughts in a sort of essay/report for my son (now nearly 10) to read as he reached certain ages. Sort of like a series of time capsules that would appear at various times. Age 10 would have been the first one.

The form would be some relevant truths (from my perspective) about life, love, work, play, mateship, avoidance of indoctrination, consequence of actions and all that sort of stuff. I wanted to add some insight about where I was at. Some of my life experience at the age he would/will be when a message was opened and may be some recollections of shared adventures, you know, the ‘do you remember when sort of thing’. I would concentrate all effort on aiming at his age group. A 10 year old doesn’t not need to know about negotiating a job but needs plenty of assurance that he can achieve wonderful things if he tries (maybe that one is a constant?). A man of 30 would not be concerned about handling bullies. A man of 40 wants some assurance that it isn’t all down hill from here on (please tell me it isn’t!!!).

I think I haven’t done because it would be very hard. I don’t want it to be some moan or preach fest. I do want it to let him know he is not alone in his deepest feelings – we all have the hidden self to kept hidden (but know the face of the stranger). I want to express how much I care but don’t want to run his life or fill his head with my shit.

I also know it would seem like some drawn out death note.

I though by writing this entry I would find a way forward but it hasn’t happened. Great idea if I had some fatal disease (apart from getting older) that allowed coherent thought but I think I am healthy.

Maybe just keeping a Blog of inner thoughts is the answer, hmm? Do I make an entry in the will “Dear Son I love you very much, please go to http://subrbansurrender.blogspot.com/ and see what I didn’t tell you at the time”? Probably not.

I think I know the answer. Be there, give advice but don’t preach, enjoy time together, share a story or two, maybe a song, and try to understand where his head is (be sensitive to his situation). Much less egotistical and might just helpful.